Any lady looking for an alternative means to acquiring Seahawks-49ers tickets, today is your (un)lucky day

As a fan of the Seahawks who doesn’t, and never has possessed season tickets, I empathize with the plight of the fan that wants to go to games. This weekend is expected to be a particularly exciting matchup with the defending NFC Champion, and dirty fucking scoundrils from San Francisco. Tickets are sold out to this game, and while there are many tickets available on craigslist, some of them are so expensive that they are financially prohibitive. If you’re a female, however, you may have another option…


I’m sure this post is soon to be, or already has been deleted, and may not be legitimate as it too closely resembles this standup bit from Aziz Ansari