It’s official — Dempsey moves to MLS, Sounders being awkward as hell

The Deuce is on the loose. Tonight is the night that the Sounders will make history with their biggest signing to date.

The news came this morning from both Tottenham and Major League Soccer, that the transfer of one Bill Clinton Dempsey (not his name) has been finalized and the CAPTAIN OF THE US NATIONAL TEAM will return stateside.

He, as you know by now, will be playing for us — Seattle Sounders FC. He knows that, the clubs knows that and pretty much every casual sports fan in the states knows that. But I’ll be damned if that isn’t stopping the Rave Green from being awkward as shit about the move still. No official announcement has been made by the club, on their weekly radio show this morning any word that sounded like “Clint” or “Dempsey” was completely ignored and finally there was two tweets that were probably meant to sound ominous to us fans — AS IF WE DIDN’T KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON.

Although I will say it’s pretty cool they’re doing a web stream of GM Adrian Hanauer walking to the middle of the pitch, saying “we got him, bitches” and dropping the mic followed by a close-up of Deuce. (Other theories include a new goal-scoring flame show to the tune of The Price is Right)

But I’ve digressed.

Either way, tonight at 7:15 p.m. at CentryLink Field we will have our official confirmation that the CAPTAIN OF THE US NATIONAL TEAM will don the Rave Green — most likely for the first time next week at Portscum (insert middle finger here).

Lastly, there’s a match tonight, and an important one at that against FC Dallas, who sit only three points ahead of us in the table.

I expect to see one of our strongest lineups due to National Team returns and players getting healthy. Likely still no Gspurning though, so the Sounders backline will have to be organized against Dallas’ first choice squad. The match starts at 7:30 on KING 5, but obviously you’ll be tuning in early for that special TPIR announcement.