Everything About the Mariners Always Makes Sense

What’s the logical thing for any team that can’t hit against Josh Tomlin and the great Philip Humber to do? If you said drop seven runs on a former big time prospect with a fastball that made Munenori Kawasaki look like a kid who was swinging at a moving target for the first time, then you’re a Mariners fan reading this article after the baseball game, which is a really unfair way to play this guessing game.

Entering a series against Detroit having lost five of six to Cleveland and the Chicago White Sox, the Mariners were approaching the ledge of a cliff whose bottom was an ocean of obscurity. Even our most loyal reader that isn’t related to me, who goes by the nickname “maqman,” have begun to waiver as it relates to his passion for the Mariners. And that dude lives in England.

The Mariners won 7-4, and Jason Vargas moves to 3-1 on the year. Last Thursday Felix Hernandez made the Cleveland Indians look like a team full of Jason Vargases at the plate. That’s not even fair because Vargas was a good hitter in college. Last Thursday Felix Hernandez made the Cleveland Indians look like a team full of Jason Alexanders and got a no decision.

#FreeGeorgeCostanza

Felix Hernandez should kick Jason Vargas’ ass.

Vargas missed seven bats in 94 pitches. That said, he probably didn’t deserve to give up as many runs as he did. In the 4th inning Jason Vargas took a one-hopper from Prince Fielder’s bat off the leg, or glove, or something, and made a pretty good play chasing the ball to the third base line and making a strong throw to first base. He hesitated to make the throw though, almost shocked to find that Fielder was actually that slow. I fully believe that Vargas expected to eat that throw, instead he beat Fielder by about a quarter-step and was called safe. I think that was a call that reflected Fielder’s effort though, as getting a body that big to move that far is quite a feat.

Miguel Cabrera was better than I expected at third base. He almost made a really good play to his left early in the game, and wasn’t nearly as much of a disaster as I expected there, though he did make a throwing error. On the play to his left, where he had very little chance of actually making an on-time throw, he lost the ball on the transfer to this throwing hand. Later on Alex Liddi made a couple plays at first base.

There was an image in my head after that of a game we played during high school baseball when our practices got rained out (which was many of them early on in the season, yay Washington). We would go inside, everyone including outfielders and pitchers would stand in a line, and take turns taking full speed ground balls on the gym floor using Incrediballs (remember those). And the game went on while the groundballs got harder and harder and anyone who kicked a grounder had to lose.

My image of Liddi and Cabrera was like a reverse homerun derby, where they competed to determine which player is actually the worst fielder in baseball.

 

  • Anonymous

    Hey the M’s won one for a change!  The highlight of my day.  The dollar is down against the pound – again!  Had a dental appointment and managed to stop the dentist before she mistakenly pulled a tooth that I was just there to have a filling in.  A week ago the government declared half of the country a drought area, including my part, naturally it hasn’t stop raining since and tonight they are issuing flood warnings.  My doctor called to say he didn’t like my last blood test and could I stop by and drop off another quart.  But the M’s won and Felix is going out and make the Tigers pay for the craptastic support he doesn’t get from his teammates. Things are looking up. Hey how about we trade Iwakuma to the A’s for Bartolo Colon?  Think about it.

    • http://twitter.com/NASORB Casey McLain

      God I hope some of that’s not true.