Ichiro Decides to Hit Home Run, Figgins Hits Home Run on Accident, Mariners Win

Well who the hell am I to talk. I talked about how silly this lineup was earlier today, and then Ichiro and Chone Figgins provided all the power that I could have ever wanted from John Jaso. I’d love to see what the odds of Figgins and Ichiro hitting a homerun on the same day are. I bet they are very poor odds.

It wasn’t like either of those guys hit balls that snuck around the foul pole either. They both sent shots out over the 385 sign in right center. It’s kind of funny, when Yoenis Cespedes hit the 973 foot homerun off the façade of the upper deck in center field of the O.co (what a stupid fucking name) Coliseum in Oakland, I was excited to see his Hit Tracker Online numbers as they related to that homerun. I’m more excited to see how Figgins’ homer ranks among his 34 career homeruns.

Jason Vargas pitched his ass off for seven innings. Well, that may be an exaggeration, he missed six bats and was the beneficiary of a very friendly umpire strike zone. He also got out of some tight spots. This start for Jason Vargas was basically the exact opposite of Hector Noesi’s first start.

Tom Wilhelmsen threw 18 pitches, only nine for strikes, and missed four bats. Jason Vargas threw 107 pitches, 65 for strikes, and missed six bats. Tom Wilhelmsen has good stuff. He will need to get better at throwing that stuff over the plate to be the team’s future closer, but he’s got a spot in the bullpen long term I believe. That’s a big step from what I thought about him before the season.

Jose Lopez saw seven pitches in four at-bats. He struck out once, and got a hit too. I wasn’t trained on every Jose Lopez at-bat, but by my math that means that of the three pitches that weren’t directly attributed to those events, he turned two of them into outs. Miguel Olivo saw 13 pitches in four at-bat. Jose Lopez hasn’t changed.

In Ichiro at his advanced age, Chone Figgins as Chone Figgins, and Derek Lowe in a different uniform, three of the worst deals ever made by the Mariners were representatives of the Mariners success tonight. Fuck you Michael Pineda and Jesus Montero, you’ve been unseated!

Mariners win 4-1. I’ll be away tomorrow and across the Cascades all weekend. I’ll get someone to bless you with some actual intelligent insight.


  • Anonymous

    Why would anyone come here for intelligent insight?  I just come to feel intellectually superior, and now you want to take the fun out of it?  Luckily I too am off to the other side our little island.

    • http://twitter.com/NASORB Casey McLain

      You’re like the only guy in the bar right now talking trash about alcoholics!