Mariners Game Outlasts My DVR, My Lust for Writing Recaps, Mariners Lose

I don’t have a ton of time for a recap. Instead of cheating you by writing the recap during the game, I cheated you by writing the NFL mock draft that will be up tomorrow morning. Then the Mariners game lasted til almost 11 PM. I really need to go to bed. Here’s basically what happened though.

Kevin Millwood sucked really bad.

Justin Smoak broke three bats and got four hits. BABIP!

John Jaso was freed, and hit a ball, and then was hit in his subsequent at bat. Then he hit a ball and made it look like it was leaving the yard. The ball landed about 40 feet from the fence in the right fielders glove.

Every Mariner pitcher sucks. Hisashi Iwakuma doesn’t pitch. Miguel Olivo is bad at baseball. John Jaso is better at baseball.


  • Anonymous

    Iwakuma doesn’t exist, he’s an apparition Ichiro created to amuse himself.  Wedgie is on to him though and won’t let him pitch, which everyone knows is Ichiro’s remaining passion in life. 

    • Casey McLain

      That’s becoming quite believable.