Seattle Mariners Pitchers and Catchers Report!

Mariners pitchers and catchers report today! That’s exciting news for baseball fans, especially for those of you that like Mariners pitchers and catchers! Perhaps only two of the reporting catchers are bringing bats, the rest will spend their entire Mariners careers shagging fly balls in the outfield in Arizona and catching bullpens, because all bats are for Jesus Montero, who is a designated hitter who owns a catcher’s mitt, so he’ll be asked to catch some bullpens also.

Jesus Montero could use this old ass catcher's mitt his entire career without ever having to replace it, I predict.

The Mariners have 35 pitchers and seven catchers reporting to camp. They’ll probably end up with Chris Gimenez back on the roster also. If they decided to comprise their entire 40 man roster of pitchers and catchers, they’d still at least have to cut Oliver Perez and Guillermo Quiroz to make it happen.

Fuck you Oliver Perez and Guillermo Quiroz!

This is my first attempt of the year (and the first time on this website) at rosterbation. Based on the list of camp invites, this is how I think that the roster will shake out. And the names after that are how I believe the team will look by the end of August (based on the Mariners being out of contention and sellers at the deadline).

I am going to project trades, but not partners, so the second list will be comprised entirely of Mariners also, though chances are if any big trades happened they’d include some MLB ready prospects.

“Hey you asshole, there are 26 guys on this roster!” –You

“That accounts for the possibility that the Mariners roll the season out with 11 pitchers on their roster instead of 12! Don’t call me an asshole!” –Me

Position Opening Day August 31
Catcher Miguel Olivo John Jaso
First Base Justin Smoak Justin Smoak
Second Base Dustin Ackley Dustin Ackley
Third Base Chone Figgins Kyle Seager
Shortstop Brendan Ryan Nick Franklin
Left Field Mike Carp Mike Carp
Center Field Franklin Gutierrez Franklin Gutierrez
Right Field Ichiro Suzuki Ichiro Suzuki
Designated Hitter Jesus Montero Jesus Montero
Bench Kyle Seager Casper Wells
Bench Casper Wells Alex Liddi
Bench John Jaso Adam Moore
Bench Carlos Guillen Trayvon Robinson
Bench Luis Rodriguez Vincent Catricala
Starting Pitcher 1 Felix Hernandez Felix Hernandez
Starting Pitcher 2 Jason Vargas Jason Vargas
Starting Pitcher 3 Hisashi Iwakuma Danny Hultzen
Starting Pitcher 4 Kevin Millwood Hector Noesi
Starting Pitcher 5 Blake Beavan James Paxton
Closer Brandon League Tom Wilhelmsen
Setup George Sherrill Chance Ruffin
Relief Pitcher Hong-Chih Kuo Carter Capps
Relief Pitcher Shawn Camp Stephen Pryor
Relief Pitcher Tom Wilhelmsen Sean Henn
Relief Pitcher Charlie Furbush Charlie Furbush
Relief Pitcher Cesar Jimenez Cesar Jimenez

Baseball is almost here!

  • Anonymous

    Not bad Casey, it’s a realistic take on how it could all roll out. My take is Iwakuma sticks, Cesar Jimenez goes away, Kawasaki ends up on the bench in the second half. I can also see Figgins not making the starting 25-man. Probably one of Kuo or Camp makes it through the season. I think Z is building a bullpen monopoly to trade at the deadline as they represent ready cash for trades.

    • Casey McLain

      That’s basically my thought. That’s why I have those guys off the roster. I think that Kuo has the most potential to engrave a spot on next year’s roster for himself, though.

      • Anonymous

        I agree Kuo, if he finds his mojo again is probably the closer.

      • Anonymous

        I debated him, Wilhelmsen, and Ruffin as the end-of-year closers. I don’t know that any of them is an ideal closer (not to say that League is) but I agree with you. Kuo is Billy Wagner if he’s healthy mentally and physically.