My dad basically just learned how to text message, especially as it compares to how long text messaging has been en vogue, and he and I may send two or three texts during the week (we’re guys, come on now), but on Sundays he sends me about 50. As the Seahawks drove down the field for what looked to be a comeback drive, and Doug Baldwin caught a critical third down pass, I reminded him “You love that guy,” and as the rest of the game ensued, this is how our conversation went.
Casey: You love that guy
Papa McLain: A 3rd Down Juggerknot I tell you
Papa McLain: What Did I tell you About Jackson.
Papa McLain: Baldwin is up there with Polk.
(Another Baldwin catch)
Papa McLain: Juggerknot
Papa McLain: Last play of the 1st half is looking better all the time
Papa McLain: No, knot. Tied back.
Papa McLain: Juggerknot not juggernaut. Knot as in like rope.
Papa McLain: Juggerslipknot
Papa McLain: Juggergrannieknot
Papa McLain: There.
Casey: That’s not a real word
(three and out near their own endzone)
Papa McLain: Great suck job. They can’t even suck very well.
Papa McLain: You can’t use real words to describe this.
(Brandon Tate returns a punt for a touchdown)
Papa McLain: Let’s see. You need a TD plus 2 pt. So you go 3 and out losing 8 yards. Now you have to punt. Why bother covering it? Now we have them where we want them.
Papa McLain: At least we have 3 time outs.
(The Bengals use their full play clock before the two minute warning)
Papa McLain: Don’t waste one there.
Papa McLain: Hang on to those. They taste great when the game is over.
Papa McLain: Maybe we can help the Bengals score with them.
Papa McLain: Pathetic.
Papa McLain: Luck would probably refuse to come here.
(Cameron Morrah drops a pass, Papa McLain apparently has left his television momentarily)
Casey: Gotta come down with that. Pac 10 woulda called it incomplete if he did, but it looks better to catch your incomplete passes.
Papa McLain: Thank god we didn’t waste a timeout before the 2 minute warning
(As Pete Carroll takes his first timeout, Seahawks down by 15 pts)
Papa McLain: That’s it Pete. Take them now when it really counts.
Papa McLain: Brilliant.
Papa McLain: We have it set up now. Just enough time for another 4 and out.
(Tarvaris Jackson throws a pick six)
Papa McLain: Wow look at them go now.
Papa McLain: Hey one more 4 and out may be available.
Papa McLain: Juggerknot I tell you. Really know how to come back. Impressive.
Papa McLain: Oh yeah, don’t forget, Tennessee won again today.
Papa McLain: There.
Papa McLain: Great game Pete.
Papa McLain: Way to comPETE.
Casey: Go Dawgs
Papa McLain: Sark is the man!!!
Papa McLain: It’s comforting to think we have 3 ½ years left on Pete’s contract.
And then Papa McLain’s head exploded.